Dry Spell

I think this crazy heat and the drought are taking a toll on not only the land, but me. I've been feeling really run down and just "blah" lately. I can't really describe it any other way. My writing has suffered, my relationships have suffered, and my self value has suffered. All I know is my fuse has been shorter and I'm a lot more sensitive to things that shouldn't really matter in the grand scheme of things.

I think part of the reason I've been out of sorts lately has a lot to do with where our life is in general. We're in transition. I've tried to make peace with it, and even thought I had. But then I can't find something I need/want or I see how unorganized our living space actually is and I stress out again.

It's hard living somewhere when you don't feel like it's yours. When we lived in the apartment, I didn't stress about when I got to a mess the kids made because it was our space. But now I feel pressure to clean up right away because technically, we're guests. I know it's my parents house, but I don't want to be a burden on anybody. Just the fact that we moved in with our two kids and two dogs was enough to disrupt their regular routines, I don't want to add mess and clutter to it. But cleaning everything up right and supervising two actively curious kids isn't always possible. So I stress and get worried about when we will be out on our own and I try to find some way to speed up that process.

Another reason I've been moody lately is I'm lonely. Our life group hasn't met in over two months, and my summer playgroup has gone by the wayside. So I'm home with the kids everyday trying desperately to find new things we can do. This heat has really made taking two little ones outside a near impossibility. (Even the pool is out when it's upwards of 100 degrees.) I may live with a bunch of people, but they all have their own things going on and I often feel isolated. Don't get me wrong, my kids are great. It's just that sometimes, it would be nice to have a hot lunch, or a breakfast that didn't involve cutting things into tiny bites or cleaning up spilled milk.

 I need some "me" time but the odd thing is I don't want to be alone when I have it. So maybe it's not "me" time I'm craving. I guess the better term would be companionship. I want someone to talk with me and ask me how things are going and really listen. I want someone to understand what it's like to be where I am and why I worry about the things I do.

But for now I'm left with a computer and my thoughts. I'm hoping I can breathe some new life into myself with the planning of one very special little boy's birthday party! I'm really pumped about it, so here's hoping it works out and breaks me out of this schlump!

We Did It

Got rid of the binky that is!

Sarah has officially been weaned off of the binky for over 2 weeks now! The best part is, we all survived the transition from obsessive binky behavior to not needing it at all. I'm not going to lie, this was one thing I was completely terrified of getting rid of. The binky guaranteed us a good night's sleep and helped Sarah take a good long (2-3 hours) nap nearly every day. And the thought of disrupting those things, well it panicked me. I may not need as many hours of sleep a night as others, but nap time is my down time and I was worried.

From the time she was about a year old, we started limiting binkies to only bedtime or naptime. But recently she started asking for them more and more and needed more than one in order to go to bed. So a couple of weeks ago, there was one sitting on the counter that she kept reaching for over and over. I got irritated and in a "mommy temper tantrum" threw the thing in the trash. Sarah stared at me like I was crazy and then went to go get it out. Lucky for me, it was covered in dirt.

So she said "Ewww, binky yucky."
I told her "Yep Mommy threw it out because it's yucky." 
She nonchalantly said "Bye binky." and put it back in the trash. No tears, no fuss.

Needless to say I was floored, and saw an opportunity. I told her it would be great to throw away all the binkies and if we did she could get a DreamLite. (She's been asking for one since seeing the stupid commercial.) She wasn't too keen on the idea at first, but she warmed up to it. So after reluctantly agreeing, we ran downstairs and packed all the binkies in a ziploc bag. She kissed each one and told it "buh bye".

We ran to our Wal-Mart which happened to have some DreamLites and she slept with that instead of binkies. There were a few bumps in the road: talking in her sleep, crying out for her binky, and skipping naps to put lotion in her hair. But overall it went pretty smoothly. So now we are binky free and I have to say I kind of miss her binky smile.

The only time Andrew has ever taken a binky

Isn't this face adorable!

But even though her binky face is super cute, I am super happy to see it go! No more scrambling to find at least 2 binkies whenever we leave, no more anxiety over losing them, and hopefully soon a correction of her binky teeth! She loves her DreamLite and is super happy to be a big girl now! She tells everyone about why she has her unicorn and you can tell she's proud of herself.

Putting in the batteries

Taking it out of the box

10 Months

Andrew's 10 month "birthday" was a couple of weeks ago. I know I say it all the time, but man is he growing up quick! I'm often surprised by how big he looks or the things that he does. He is such a blessing to us and I am getting really excited to start planning his birthday party!

10 month update:

• He's about 21 pounds (still less than big sister)
• 18 month clothing
• Size 4 diapers
• Pulling up on everything! He will use people, furniture, toys, and even dogs to get himself into a standing position.
• He's just starting to cruise around the furniture, but he hasn't quite mastered the confidence to do it all the time yet.
• Our blue push toy that we bought for Sarah's first Christmas is back! Andrew loves getting behind it and "walking." His eyes light up and he lets out a whole bunch of happy squeals and laughs. He also loves pushing our Cozy Coup around.
• We've completely abandoned baby food. Andrew eats what everyone else eats and often more than I do. The kid loves protein! Any type of meat is his favorite. 
• He finally got the fourth bottom tooth in and two more on top. So the grand total of teeth in his mouth is 8! Although, I suspect there might be more coming in judging by the amount of drool he produces.
• He loves his sippy cup and ALL of Sarah's cups. More often than not I am trying to keep him away from Sister's drinks unless we want a major melt down from her.
• Speaking of getting into Sister's stuff, Andrew is a master at it. He's taken a special liking to anything that Sarah is playing with. It doesn't matter if there are two of the EXACT same toy, it has to be the one SHE has. Hence the problem.
• Sleeping has gotten much better. Andrew generally cries anywhere from 2 - 15 minutes before falling asleep. And I think the crying is more of a separation anxiety than actually being put in his crib. He's also started crying when I drop him off at the church nursery.
• He says a few distinguishable words but the most frequent one is Papa. He loves my dad! And he was saying Hello into a toy phone earlier today. 
• He's not only a master at getting into Sarah's things, but he also manages to find the one place or thing he shouldn't be in ALL the time. He loves crawling off at top speed to find something he shouldn't have. He's our trouble maker!
• He's still pretty laid back unless it comes to food, and then he does whatever he can to get to it. He makes this adorable little scrunchy face or yells "doh doh" at you until he gets a bite.

10 months old and so big!

Happy 4th

Happy Independence Day from us to you!