Saturday, March 27, 2010

One week

In one week I will be holding my day old daughter. I cannot wait! Induction is set for Friday!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Still cooking

Sarah is still cooking along. I could be whiny and complain about how uncomfortable I am and how much I want to see my baby but I decided to do this instead.

10 Things that make me happy

1. Spending quality time with Ryan before the baby gets here.
2. My puppies cuddling with me on the couch.
3.  Being able to spend all day relaxing with my feet up. Although it can be boring it is a true blessing
4. My family - this includes not only my family but my in-laws as well. I am truly blessed to have such great people surrounding me.
5. Finding a church that I really enjoy. I can see a future there for our family.
6. Reading a good book.
7. Warm baths. I love being able to soak in a bathtub for a long time and unwind before bed!
8. Spring's arrival, I know that the weather is kinda iffy right now. However, I feel warmer weather around the corner and thunderstorms! I love listening to the rain.
9. Ryan's cooking. I love the fact that my husband loves to cook and that he's good at it. I eat well whenever he cooks a meal.
10. Last one ---> I only have 7 days until my due date and 10 until induction date!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Yesterday was my 38 week appointment. I am showing no signs of going into labor. My doctor thinks my body is confused and that I may not go into labor on my own. So we set up an induction date just in case. My doctor was sure to explain to me that I am not stuck to that date and if it comes around and I decide I want to wait I can. Nothing is set in stone and I am not required to be induced if I change my mind.

I don't think I will change my mind. I have honestly enjoyed most of pregnancy. The last few weeks have been extremely tiring and physically difficult. It's normal third trimester stuff though, I am not going through anything different than any other mama to be out there. At this point I am done being pregnant and my induction date is like a light at the end of the tunnel! April 2nd is only 16 days away. There's only 16 days until my baby is an outside baby! I know that I'm going to miss her being in my belly after she's born but for now I am ready to hold her in my arms!

Friday, March 12, 2010

Emotional Ride

Wow these last few days have been such a wave of emotions. One minute I am overjoyed, the next overwhelmed. I seem to yo yo back and forth between happiness and anxiety and yes even sadness. I am more than happy that Ryan and I are about to become parents, but I know it's going to change our lives in so many ways. As the pregnancy has progressed I have become more aware of what we are "losing".

I know that my love for my husband and his love for me is not something I need to worry about disappearing.  It is something that will change though. I have already begun to notice it. It's more of a maturing thing. Parenthood changes people. Once Sarah arrives, we will no longer be able to make last minute plans or go travel somewhere on a whim. (Not that we usually do, but it's something we could do if we wanted.) I am not upset that we are having a baby at all. I want to make that clear. I am just sad because the carefree, self-involved, newlywed phase of our lives will soon be over. I think it's perfectly natural to feel a sense of loss. It's been just us since we started dating over 6 years ago and now we need to change the dynamic of our family to fit another small being into it. I am confident that Ryan will make a great father, I just wish that I had that same confidence for me. I want to be the best mom I can. The fact that I will be staying home with her has me a little nervous, and I just don't want to screw it up.

Another thing that has been on my mind a lot lately is Kelsey. For those that may not know, my sister was murdered in 2007. She was my best friend and she meant so much to me. I no longer constantly outwardly grieve for her, but I struggle with this loss every day. She didn't get to be a part of my wedding (but I thank God that she knew and loved Ryan), she wasn't at my college graduation, and she hasn't been able to be here for my pregnancy. With Sarah's birth coming anytime I am feeling her absence more than ever. I really wish she was here to share this time with me. She would have been a great aunt. I know she would have loved celebrating the little things that Sarah accomplishes with me. But mostly I miss the fact that I can't hear her advice or opinions on things anymore.

Anxiety has become a familiar "friend." It doesn't consume me by any means. I think I am going through the normal first time mom-to- be fears with a little extra thrown in. I am a worrier by nature. I have been lucky in the sense that my pregnancy hasn't yielded too many emotional tirades, but I think the last few weeks will have plenty in store. I have been back and forth between angry and sad and happy so many times in such a short amount of time the last several days. Yikes. My poor husband. Hopefully Sarah decides to arrive before  I have too many more mood swings.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Full Term!

We made it to full term. 37 weeks is considered full term medically and I have to say that I am so relieved to have gotten here. It seems so surreal that in about three weeks or so we are going to have a little baby to take care of! I am ready to meet her and see what she looks like and to start figuring out her personality!

I felt like my pregnancy has truly flown by. I remember very clearly finding out that I was pregnant way back in July. Now in just a few weeks I will get to see the little girl whose heartbeat I have grown to love and whose wiggling has at times driven me crazy! Everyone says that feeling the baby move is an awesome, joyous thing. I have to say that while it is those things, it can be more than a little annoying when you are trying to sleep. I'm sure I will miss having this close connection with Sarah when she gets here though.

Because I am officially full term, I am more than willing to try anything to get this baby out! Last night Ryan and I went out to have a dinner together as a couple. It could have been our last outing as a family of two. Who knows? I had eggplant Parmesan which is said to bring on labor so we shall see. I have also started walking a little bit each day to get her to drop. However I get winded much earlier than I ever have. So the walking isn't going as well as I like. So be watching for updates because Baby Sarah could show up any day now!!!

P.S. I lost 3 lbs at my last appointment. Which is good because last week I was up 6 lbs in one week which means that it was because of water retention and swelling from my high blood pressure. The blood pressure issue appears to have resolved itself. 

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Pregnancy Insomnia

One of those symptoms that you don't ever hear about. I am really starting to be annoyed with it. Ryan and I are on completely opposite sleep schedules because of this. It makes me more than a little irritated that I have only a few hours of awake time with him. The rest of the time we are together one of us is asleep. Things could be worse ...

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Good news and bad

Well I had my weekly appointment today, and it wasn't the usual five minute thing. I had some swelling over the weekend and it turns out that it's probably related to my elevated blood pressure. I also gained 6 lbs in one week!!! They took my blood pressure twice to make sure they had it right. It was 132 over 85 I think. Or something similar. Mine is usually like 90 over 60. So really high for me. If it gets over 140 then it's classified as preeclampsia.

If it does get that high we will start talking inductions. But my doctor isn't too worried and told me just to stay off my feet as much as possible. I was also measuring at 35 weeks instead of 36. She said that was fine too. The positive was that my group B strep test was negative! In other not so good news, I have to get another internal next week. :(