Happy Fall

We have officially switched seasons! Or at least the calendar tells me we have and you know the influx of all things pumpkin is another sign. It's still pretty hot outside, although you can tell that the weather change is right around the corner. Right now we are in the weird phase where mornings are pretty chilly but by mid-afternoon everyone is ready for shorts and tank tops. I am anxiously awaiting sweater weather. I just want it to cool off and stay cool, but I can deal without having frigid temperatures just yet.

My birthday was almost two weeks ago. So now I am officially 27 years old! Although if I'm honest, I don't really feel any older than I did in high school. Sometimes I feel like a kid pretending to be an adult, but somehow I remember it being a lot more fun when I was younger. This paying bills, having a job, and raising kids thing is pretty hard at times.

But back to the birthday, I had a great day and was completely spoiled by my family. Having a large family on both sides makes birthdays more fun to celebrate. There's more people, more food, more conversation, and just more enjoyment all around. Anyway, I guess one way that I can tell I am getting older is that instead of getting anything fancy/frivolous I asked for a new toilet. The one in our main guest bathroom was original to the house and was definitely on its last leg. It needed multiple flushings, had the flapper replaced a few times and you had to hold the handle down. Needless to say it made life with a potty trainer a little difficult. So I got a new toilet from my husband and I couldn't be any happier about it!

Our September has been pretty eventful. Besides my birthday, I have been working a little more than usual to start putting some extra cash away for Christmas. And I went to a K-State football and watched my Wildcats win, while melting in the extreme heat. But I had a bunch of fun! We've also been having a few game nights here and there with our friends which has made us feel like real people and not just worn down parents. It's amazing what some time with friends can do for you. My moms group at church started back up and this year I am a table leader. On top of that I am in a Bible study that I am really excited about. I can't wait to see how these things unfold this year. Sarah and Andrew like being back in a more structured routine. It's good for everyone. A regular bedtime, regular wake up, regular naps. Predictability is now something that my kiddos thrive on and I think it's about time! And we've thrown in a few fun things, like going to see The Little Mermaid in theaters (it was interactive with an IPad) and getting bunches of new dress up clothes to play pretend with!

The kids are loving the weather lately. It makes for great outdoor playing because by the time it gets super hot, we are inside for naps. I am really stoked to do fun fall things with them this year. Like apple picking and pumpkin patches!  But we celebrated the official first day of fall with a little bit of crafting!

Andrew's is on the right and Sarah's is on the left.

And because a post wouldn't be complete without a few pictures, here you go!

Andrew's Party and Two Year Stats

I just realized that I never posted about Andrew's second birthday party! He had a Toy Story theme and it was so much fun for everyone involved. I LOVE watching my kids get excited and happy about things and a birthday party is nothing but fun and excitement.

Since Ryan and I both come from larger families, this little boy is pretty spoiled when it comes to gifts. Like seriously, we had to rearrange our playroom and I am still going through a "weed out" process with our toys. It's an ever constant battle to not have the playroom look like a disaster area and it's incredibly difficult to figure out which toys are ready to be packed away, donated, or just trashed. It could be because I am attempting to do this while having both kids in the house...

So here's a few photos from that. I found most of the decorations on clearance which was pretty nice because we didn't have to spend a fortune and we came out with something that looked great! I stayed up pretty late making some alien cupcakes the night before the party. Andrew had a lot of fun wadding up tissue paper and putting it in the trash but he also really enjoyed his presents like his trains, new duplo table that his Papa built him, and a bouncy horse.

As far as two year stats go, he's pretty middle of the road. Which is a good thing considering all the concerns that his doctor had about his head size earlier.
27 lbs - 35%
34 inches - 27%

He's also right on track for physical and developmental milestones. His language skills are exploding and he constantly has new words. Also he's learning the art of getting on big sister's nerves and doing it well. So overall, we have a pretty healthy and happy TWO year old!

Brain Dump

I have had every intention of blogging the last couple of months. I mean really it helps me keep my thoughts in order and it makes me feel good to know that I have recorded some of our memories in a place that I can't lose them. But then life happened and whenever I got the thought "That is something to blog about" or "hmmm maybe I can make a post about this" I would get distracted and eventually forget it.

So I'm a bad blogger, but I can deal with it. What I can't deal with, is my overloaded and totally overwhelmed self! Almost a year ago I took on a part-time job thinking that it would be good for me to get out of the house and make a little extra cash. Well now, that job has turned into a mix of good and bad (like most jobs I assume). I'm fairly certain my boss doesn't like me too much, my hourly wage is definitely much lower than it should be, and people have NOT been tipping well lately. (In case you've forgotten, I'm a barista - which means I make the fancy coffee drinks. Nine years in the business and I can't seem to leave it.) Add on some heavy duty medical bills because oh yeah I had a chest tube for six days and well my extra cash is a little more necessary now.

The kids are 2 and 3 now which is fun but also very trying. I KNOW there are days when I barely hold it together and I praise God (literally) that we are all fed and alive when Daddy gets home from work. I can't seem to find a good balance between work, mommy, and me time and end up feeling like a failure on all parts.

I've been debating about going back to school, putting Sarah in preschool, and possibly throwing a third baby into the mix at some point for months. Seriously here is just a sample of the frenzied thoughts swirling around my head on a near daily basis.

"When would be the best time for school? Is Sarah missing out on some fundamental developmental milestone by not going to preschool this fall, should I look for something for her for the spring? Is preschool really worth the $160+ a month? I miss having little babies around, maybe we should have a third." I lose it over all the toys ALL OVER, and wonder why I ever thought I could handle a third!

A giant mess of crazy I tell you! Some days I seriously wonder why I majored in history and if maybe I would be better off if I had a more full-time intellectual job to head off to everyday. But I love my customers and co-workers at my job. 

What it all boils down to, is that I am feeling a bit lost. After being a full time stay at home mom for the last three years, I want to find something that stretches me more. Lord knows I love my kids, but it would be nice to not cut food into small bites (Andrew's new thing is that he swallows most foods whole and ends up gagging/vomiting. Fun times) and well maybe have a reason to wear more than yoga pants and tank tops every day. I want my kids to see me and be proud, and not just cry when Mommy puts on her uniform and leaves. I work evenings so I leave after or during nap time and don't get home until after bedtime. 

I know, the grass is always greener on whatever side of the fence you aren't on. Here's hoping I can figure some things out soon. I just need some direction in my life. I feel like I am standing at a crossroad but I don't know what the signs say and if I should take any of the streets. So instead I am camped out at the intersection being all awkward and weird.