Monday Mind Dump

1. I am a perfectionist and it causes a lot of problems. I obsess over little things like Christmas card photos, the clothes Sarah wears and the coordinating bows, and whatever I cook/bake. I wish it was easier for me to not sweat the small stuff.
2. I find myself wishing there was more time in the day way too often. I think I need to reduce my to-do list.
3. I really enjoy getting to know other mothers near my age. I just wish I knew more of them. Sometimes being a mama can be lonely.
4. I get frustrated way too easily a lot of the time. I am working on it.
5. I need to remember that my dogs are just dogs. They don't deliberately try to make me mad. 
6. My husband does not set out to make my day harder, he really wants to help out and I should let him.
7. Having a mobile baby really makes you exhausted by the end of the day.
8. I should invest in some baby gates.
9. If there is one thing I don't want Sarah to have, she will find it.
10. I am excited to celebrate Christmas as a family of three. I can't wait to start our own traditions.

Thanksgiving 2010

I just wanted to share my favorite picture of me and my girl!

We had a great day filled with turkey and family!  Ryan and I had dinner at my family's house first. After spending a couple of hours there, we headed over to his folks' house and had dessert. Both families gave us lots of yummy leftovers. My dad smoked TWO turkeys and roasted one. So they had plenty to share.

I even braved the crowds and went Black Friday shopping for the first time in my life. I went to Kohl's at 3:00 AM and ended up getting clothes for my whole family. Of course that meant no sleep for me on Thanksgiving night, but it wasn't too bad. I got home around 6:00 AM and went to bed an hour later. My wonderful husband allowed me to sleep for most of the afternoon while he watched Sarah. I did manage to find a cute Christmas dress for Sarah at a ridiculously good price. $7.00

 

Once I finally got up, I had to get ready for family Christmas pictures. My sister, Stevie, came over and took some of us and some of Little Bit by herself. I am so excited to put them together this weekend and get them ordered so we can send them out. The best part is that my cards aren't going to cost me anything!

Well I hope everyone else had a great Thanksgiving/Black Friday! Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Happy Thanksgiving

I want to wish everyone a very happy Thanksgiving. This time last year, I had just learned that I was having a baby girl and I was contemplating what a great blessing it was to be expecting my first child. Well this year, I am happy to say that those blessings I dreamed about when I was pregnant, don't measure up to the reality of having Sarah here with us.  But in honor of Thanksgiving, I made a list of all the things I am thankful for this year.

1. A husband who works hard every day to provide for his family. It means he wakes up early every day and stays up late (sometimes too late). He is a great man and father. I don't thank him enough for what he does. So thank you Ryan for being you!
2. A daughter who brings me so much joy and happiness. I love being her mother and getting to see her grow and learn. She is already this great little person and I can't wait to see what else lies ahead for us.
3. The ability to be a stay at home mom. While this may not have been my dream job, it has proven to be one of the best learning and growing experiences of my life. Each day brings new happiness and frustration. I finally feel like I hit the groove on where I am supposed to be.
4. A great church and life group. Finding our church has been a HUGE blessing! We have made new friends and connected to people in ways that had been lacking for a while. 
5. Family! I have great parents and siblings as well as great in-laws. They love my daughter, husband, and me so much.
6. As cheesy/corny as it sounds, I am thankful for a roof over my head and food to eat. Not to mention the clothes I have to wear. 

What are you thankful for this year? Have a great Thanksgiving and cherish those family moments today. Even if they are a bit stressful!

Birth Experience Revisited

Not too long ago, I was thinking about Sarah's birthday. I loved my hospital experience for the most part. I had a great nursing staff and loads of visitors. My doctor and Sarah's doctor were absolutely wonderful to us. They both stopped in several times to check on us. I even liked the food I was served. But everything has two sides. There were a few things about my labor and delivery that I hope don't get repeated with future kids. (Yes there will be more kids even though I sometimes claim there won't be. Usually that's just my sleep deprivation and frustration speaking.)

First off, I was induced and I don't regret it one bit. Although it was not my ideal situation. At my last few appointments during my pregnancy, my blood pressure was elevated and it caused a LOT of swelling. So my doctor felt that an induction would be good not only for my comfort but to also keep my blood pressure from rising to dangerous levels. But I do feel like I missed out on the "going into labor" thing. I never got to call Ryan or tell him that our baby was on the way. I didn't get to labor at home or walk the hospital halls. I was virtually tied to the bed from the minute I was admitted. So with the next child I would like to avoid an induction if possible.

 The top is Sarah's heart rate looking good. The bottom is pitocin induced contractions. Boo!

Then there was my blood pressure. It shot way up there during delivery, causing me to be bedridden well after Sarah was born. I wasn't allowed to get off my left side for hours. I couldn't get out of bed to shower or hold the baby. She had to be brought to me and I had to wait an eternity to get a shower. Now, I know that was out of my control, but I still wish I could have been up and around more after birth. I think it would have helped me feel more normal. They thought that my blood pressure would stabilize after Sarah was born, but it didn't. I almost didn't get to go home as planned because my blood pressure wouldn't cooperate. So they medicated me for 6 weeks until my body finally caught on.

But I think the most disappointing thing about Sarah's birth was her respiratory distress. Sarah also had several heart rate dips as I pushed and that was a big cause for concern. She had the hiccups as she was being born and that may have caused her to inhale fluid into her lungs. It may not have been the only cause of the fluid, but I think it played a big part. Anyway, because of that she was born this sickly grey/white color. Ryan didn't get to cut the cord and she was rushed over to her little warmer where a team of nurses began working on her. I was in such big shock that I didn't cry or really have much emotion at all. It was almost like it wasn't really happening to me or Sarah. I didn't hear her cry for what felt like forever. There was talk of her getting sent to the NICU and those are words no mama ever wants to hear. Because they needed to keep a close eye on her breathing, Sarah spent the first couple of hours after she was born being monitored in the nursery. I really felt like I missed out on a great bonding experience with her and often wonder if that's why I felt so disconnected from her at first.

Sarah finally arrived.

Notice her white feet/legs and hand, her whole body was that color. She was limp and white. Very scary!

 

The best part about the whole thing though was my beautiful daughter. And even though there were some things that I wish had gone differently; the end result was this miraculous, tiny human. She is such a great little person with a HUGE personality. I love her laugh, and her claps, and the funny way she holds her mouth to the side. She is a very inquisitive baby that likes to get into everything she shouldn't. She keeps me on my toes. But watching her learn about this world and the things around her is a truly amazing experience.

Something caught her interest.

I think that God may have allowed these complications so that my gratitude and love could be so much bigger than they would have been. It was rough in the beginning, and I often felt like maybe I had gotten into something I shouldn't have. But God was there through it all and He listened to my prayers and granted me the grace to get through the tough moments. He chose me to be this girl's mother and He knows best. I need to remember that more often.

So in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I am very thankful for my daughter, no matter how she got here. There will always be something that doesn't go as planned, but at least this time I got a great gift. For a split second (that seemed like it would never end) every nerve in my body was rigid with fear and worry. God blessed me and turned that fearful moment into a lifetime that is sure to be filled with love. Even when I am frustrated with naps or frazzled from chasing a crawler, I will be grateful because things could have gone so differently in that delivery room.

Christmas photo test shot. We are going to get pictures done for cards this weekend. It's the first time we are going to send out cards as a family! I am way excited for this! Lots of cute outfits for Sarah!!

Mall Blowouts ... Yes THAT Blowout

Last week I was at the mall with Sarah. I like to go there and just walk, especially if the weather is especially nasty. It's a good climate controlled area and it gives me a place to go when I need to get out of the apartment. Sometimes we buy things, but most of the time it's just window shopping and lunch.

Anyway, my sister was with us and we were at JC Penney's looking at all the cute Christmas clothes when we notice a funny smell. I decided to head towards Nordstrom, since they always have the cleanest bathrooms. I got there and went to lift Sarah onto the changing table when I noticed that her light pink sweatpants had changed colors. Yup, they were that yucky green/brown color that means one thing, a major diaper fail! Sarah has a diaper blowout usually once a week, but I was totally not prepared for it to happen in a public place.

I had forgotten our changing pad that goes in the diaper bag so I had no choice but to lay her on the store's table. Luckily it was cushioned and I did put paper towels down to help minimize the mess. It didn't help much. Poor Sarah had poo all up her back, down her legs, and even in her socks. So there I am trying to clean her, wrap up the clothes, and avoid getting poo all over everything within 5 feet. I managed to get her in a fresh diaper and clothes without too big of a problem. Then it came to putting her dirty clothes somewhere, I had no bag to tie them up in.

So I grabbed a handful of paper towels (again) and wrapped them around the clothes. It semi worked. Trust me I did think of just tossing the clothes with the dirty diaper, but I liked that outfit. My sister is standing on the sidelines just mortified. She couldn't believe someone that small had made such a huge mess. So now that Sarah was all taken care of, it was time to turn to me. I had poo on my hands and my sweater. I washed my hands and positioned myself behind the stroller and headed home. It was a true learning experience for me. I will always have a grocery sack with me from now on. Oh did I mention that the stroller needed to be washed down too?

The things you learn about as a mom are very different from what you think they will be. And being a mother totally changes what you deem as appropriate conversation/blogging.

I'm Back

So after a rather long week I am finally glad to say things are back to normal. I really don't mind looking after my siblings. They are pretty well behaved, for the most part and very low maintenance. We had a good time hanging out, shopping, cooking together, and yes even doing homework. Well, really they did it and I either helped or checked it. But there's something to be said about the comfort of a normal routine.

Sarah's naps were complete crap this week. By crap, I mean two fifteen minute naps for the entire day! That meant that we had both a crabby baby and mommy. When Sarah doesn't nap, she gets whiny and inconsolable. This in turn makes me irritable. Her naps are when I get that "me time". It's a vital part of my day, that time that I get to sit, read, blog, clean, or simply be still.

But like I said, this week it didn't happen. So poor Ryan had a very frazzled wife at the end of the day for a few days this week. But luckily things are going to be semi-routine this week. Monday and Tuesday will be business as usual, but Ryan has the rest of the week off. Which isn't our normal thing for the week, but at least I have an extra set of hands. So if for some reason Sarah just won't nap, I can hit the mall with all the crazy shoppers and leave my husband with the cranky baby. And trust me Black Friday shoppers have nothing on an angry, sleep deprived baby.

Wordless Wednesday