Saturday, July 16, 2011

Limbo

Lately I feel like our lives are just hanging in limbo. We are not a family of four yet, but on the other hand not the same little family of three we used to be. We're just in this in-between phase. The waiting is infuriating, exciting, and more than a little scary. We are entering the point in pregnancy where this little guy could decide to make his debut at any point!

As my pregnancy has progressed, I've had to relax a little more and not be as hands-on with Sarah as I would like to be. My belly (and now my super swollen feet) sometimes limit the activities we can do during the day. That in turn makes me feel super guilty, but the good news is I don't think Sarah has noticed. I find myself wanting to soak in these last few weeks of having an "only child". I don't want to miss any of the little moments or miss making memories with my first born. I know she's only 15 months old and won't remember this phase of her life, but I will. I want to know that we made the best of things. I want to remember our crazy busy days and our times where we just lounged around in pj's all day. And it's kind of sad to think that it won't always be just her and I anymore. I will have to split my time and won't always be able to get Sarah right away if she needs me for something.

But then there's the exciting part. The anticipation of this new little life. Who will he look like? What personality traits will he inherit? I can't wait to see Sarah interact with her brother and hopefully be nice and gentle with him. I remember how loving and patient Ryan was with Sarah as a newborn and I can't wait to see that all over again with this baby. (Not to mention he is an all time pro at swaddling!) I can't wait for the newborn snuggles and a baby that *gasp* isn't mobile!

Yep, our lives are about to change in numerous big ways! But for right now, I'm going to drink in my remaining time as a family of three. We'll go to the pool, play at home, snuggle at bedtime, and do all the things we usually do. But I'll remember to cherish it, because soon it'll only be memories. And when our little baby boy gets here, I'll look forward to the memories we'll make as a family of four!

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