Why Hello September!

I can't believe it's already September! Time is seriously flying! I think if the weather actually cooled down and stayed below 85, I would be able to believe that it's nearly fall. But here we are in the triple digits again. *SIGH* It makes it a little hard to take the big girl outside to play when the little one can't be out in these temperatures.

Anyway, today is Sarah's 17 month "birthday". Since coming home from the hospital with Andrew, I've really noticed just how big and grown up she's getting. I know she's still only a year old, but having a new infant at home really emphasizes her independence and development. She's still talking away. Sometimes it's a little hard to understand her, but most of the time we eventually figure out what it is she's saying. I love that we can have mini conversations now and that she gets really excited when telling us "stories." She seems to be growing up so fast, and sometimes I wish that time would just freeze so I could enjoy her in this stage a little longer.

I have to admit, I've felt a little pretty guilty about this big adjustment for her, but I think she's coping pretty well. She goes back and forth between loving Andrew and wanting to kiss him and help Mama out with him, and throwing herself on the ground in a tantrum when anyone is holding him and not paying attention to her. I think that's pretty normal. It's hard going from being the only child to having to share Mommy and Daddy. Especially since I'm nursing and I feel like Andrew is always eating! But I'm going to try and implement a special time during the week that Sarah and I can just have to ourselves. I think it's really important that she knows we didn't replace her and that she's still loved and cherished. I'm sure I'm overt hinking it and worrying way too much, but I can't help but feel that my girl may be feeling a little abandoned by Mama.

Today she's at Grandma's because she's been running a fever and our pediatrician was very worried about Andrew catching it. If he got sick it would mean an automatic hospital stay and spinal tap! Pretty scary! And I would feel guilty about that (in fact last night I was in tears because of it) but I know she loves spending time there and is having fun!  I just don't want her to feel like she's always getting shuffled around or that Andrew is more important than her.

But back to our pediatrician... Yesterday was Andrew's two week check up and he's not at birth weight yet!  He was 8 lbs 9 oz and the doc wanted him at 9 lbs. So frustrating because I was sure breastfeeding was going so much better this time. He's gaining 1/2 an ounce a day and not a full ounce. And on top of that he has a yeast infection in his diaper region. Add that to the fact that Sarah was sick and you have one overwhelmed Mama. So any tips for making sure breastfeeding works better this time would be greatly appreciated! I really want to avoid pumping or having to buy formula. (Nothing against formula, just an extra cost that I don't want with two in diapers.)